


Many Reasons

by gaaraxnaru



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Multi, Spoilers for Season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 20:03:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10861089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaaraxnaru/pseuds/gaaraxnaru
Summary: Garnet assesses her concern over her comrades as they deal with their leader's imminent passing and also has an important talk with Rose.





	Many Reasons

 

Garnet had been very busy following the time Rose dropped her final bombshell to the three remaining members of the rebel group. Now as Rose’s time left on Earth, the home she once fought and shattered to protect, ticked down as her belly grew larger and larger every day, Garnet found herself in an almost constant state of panic. For a being so timeless, literally ageless, she felt as if time was going much too quickly, even for one so used to the passage of time as Garnet. Garnet had already held the role of de-facto leader of the Crystal Gems for whenever Rose went off on one of her excursions or when her abilities called for her to do so; but now as she prepared to take the mantle on more permanently she still felt like those lost Sapphire and Ruby, confused over their own feelings and enraptured with their new state of being. She was still confused, but now over her feelings of Rose’s decisions. Once again, something that happened only when things were truly becoming too much, she was at odds with herself. She couldn’t decide if Rose’s actions were selfish, short sighted or just the most beautiful thing Rose had ever done. Most of all she just didn’t understand.

Being the perceptive Gem she was, Garnet was aware that she was not alone in her lack of understanding. She was concerned with how both of her comrades, her friends were coping with the major change they would all soon be experiencing. Though it didn’t take Sapphire’s abilities to see that Pearl in particular wouldn’t, didn’t and would never take the news well. Anyone could see that Pearl had feelings for Rose, and for her to learn that the Gem she loved had limited time to live had taken a toll on her. One would think she would latch onto Rose even more than she did before, soak up as much time as possible that she could with her before she was gone forever, even if it meant sharing her with Greg. Instead, Pearl seemed to fold into herself once she realized that there was no other way for Rose to have the child and live. 

Pearl tried to talk Rose out of it in the beginning; she was not yet pregnant, why not wait another thousand years, another Greg will come along, you’ll see. Rose, I need you. You’ve done so much for me. I care for you Rose. Don’t go. But Rose would not change her mind. She wanted this child, this marvel of both Gem and mankind and she didn’t care what she had to sacrifice to get it. Be it her life or Pearl’s sense of self. If Garnet had to guess, this decision had set Pearl’s progress back about two thousand years. It was barely noticeable but Pearl was beginning to stand on her own two feet, with Rose encouraging her to be herself more. But now, Pearl felt she wasn’t good enough. After all, Rose would rather have a being that would destroy her than stay by Pearl’s side. Clearly, she wasn’t worth staying around even a little longer for. Garnet knew Pearl’s low self-esteem would have her thinking something like that and nothing, not even Rose if she knew, could change her mind. Garnet could only hope that over time that she could help Pearl move past this and help her learn how to grow again.

Amethyst was just as bad as Pearl but in a different way. She didn’t show her pain on the outside, a common occurrence for her, and instead acted as if nothing was wrong at all. This worried Garnet immensely. She still teased Pearl, despite the Gem’s obvious grief, practiced human activities, pulled pranks and trained as she used to but there was an undeniable desperation to her actions. Only the most trained eye could see it, but Amethyst was slipping. She was trying too hard. The poor Gem unconsciously thought that if she acted as if everything was normal, that everything was okay, then everything would remain the same. Rose wouldn’t have to go and things wouldn’t have to change. She wouldn’t have to change. For so long Amethyst had relied on Rose and the others to be her stability. Her rock. For someone so wild, Amethyst craved a surprising amount of routine in her friends. If things stayed the same, she could keep her family together and keep the fun and adventure that was her life in repeat forever. She needed to keep it this way. Amethyst didn't know, as she wasn’t as fluent in Gem culture and responsibility as Garnet or Pearl, but that was the essence of a Gem. Gems didn’t change, so they relied on routines and order. It was how they survived. Every Gem had their role and they played it. Forever. It was built in them. It was apart of them. Yet Rose defied it like everything else. 

Garnet knew that by making this decision, Rose had unknowingly shattered Amethyst’s routine. She had destroyed her world. When Amethyst woke up alone in the Kindergarten she knew deep down that something was wrong. She was missing her role, her essence, her team. The Gem was in a state of loss without truly knowing what exactly it was she needed. When she finally was found, she gained all of what she required as a Quartz and more. But now, with Rose defying everything they had been told, Amethyst was once again in limbo. What would become of her now? Why was everything changing? Why did Rose do this to their world? What had she done to deserve this? Amethyst, like Pearl, had a very small self-esteem and was prone to blaming herself as well. Garnet was very aware of this. While Amethyst may be acting as if nothing was wrong and was seemingly unaffected by Rose’s decision, Garnet knew the truth. Denial was just as bad as depression. Garnet wished that one day, she could help Amethyst learn how to express herself better for both the good and the bad. 

All of these changes had Garnet sitting alone most nights, wondering where the future would take them. Sapphire’s power was not infallible, she had no idea what would happen no matter how many times she tried to predict a possible path. Things were unclear, especially now, in this time of uncertainty. Looking up at the stars as she sat on the beach, Garnet could only consider the endless possibilities. So lost in her thoughts, she didn’t even hear Rose creep up on her until she felt Rose’s hands on her shoulders, jolting her into awareness and out of her own mind. 

“Thinking hard?” Rose asked with a soft smile, her eyes shining brightly. Garnet noticed that ever since she became… with child, her whole body seem to glow with happiness. It so drastically contrasted her teammate’s sadness, it was almost like night and day. Even Greg seemed to radiate gloom when next to her, and all of the Gems knew just how contradictingly happy and sad he was, but Rose seemed to be the only one to be entirely happy. 

_She really wants this_ , Garnet thought. If she had any doubts before, they were long gone now. Rose had her full support. Even if it hurt. Even if she knew what would ultimately happen. Even if it meant her friends may never recover. Even if it meant the future was uncertain. If Rose was happy… then that was that. Unlike the others, she could put her own feelings aside for that. Whether it was because there were two of her, so she had constant support, or because Rose deserved a bit of selfish happiness for all she had done for them, or if it was because she too was in her own state of denial; it didn’t matter. All she could do now was again put her faith in Rose. But despite her decision, she still had one pressing question.

“Why?” Garnet found herself whispering. Rose didn’t even ask what she meant. Her smile merely turned crooked in sad understanding as she gathered her skirts and carefully sat next to Garnet on the beach. 

She touched her belly softly as she spoke, “I know you won’t believe me. But I feel as if… even I don’t really know. Yet, I do know.”

Garnet could only stare in confusion. She knew Rose was not omnipotent. She had her flaws and short sightedness just like everybody else. In fact, it nearly cost her Greg in the beginning. But since she had the ability to change, the ability to grow, the ability to express herself; she had something most Gems did not have. And it had led her here. So for Rose to not know why she choose what she did was surprising. It was almost funny.

Rose certainly saw the humor, “It’s confusing isn’t it? To know, yet not to know? Is this what your Future Visions are like? How delightfully mysterious!” Rose giggled as Garnet could only look on in wonder. Rose was utterly unaffected by what was happening to her. In fact, she was happy. 

“Aren’t you scared?” Garnet asked, once Rose’s laughter had subsided.

 “A little,” Rose quietly answered after a pause, “It’s a little... intimidating. The thought of being gone. Even during the war, I wasn’t truly afraid of what could become of me. I was so focused on our cause that everything else just ceased to matter. Even now, the thought of disappearing, of becoming apart of  
something new trumps my fear of it. I want to focus on the outcome, not the negativity that comes with it. Whether it be the war or…”

“Our feelings on the matter,” Garnet couldn’t help but state. It was true. While Rose had told them of her plans before she became pregnant, it was clear that her mind could not be changed on it. What they felt wouldn’t change a thing in the long run. Rose always did what she wanted.

Rose couldn’t help but wince at the trueness of her words, “Yes. I’m sorry that I’m leaving all of you behind and I know that you all will probably never truly understand why, but you have to trust me. While I may not have one reason why I want to do this, I do know that I have many reasons why I do want this.”

Garnet glanced at her in silence.

“I want to see what Greg and I can make. I want to give him a son or daughter. I want to create new life. I want to be apart of something bigger. I want…” Rose trailed off, the answer remaining in the air.

“You want a lot of things,” Garnet acquiesced. It seemed as if even Rose herself did not know why she wanted this for sure.

“I do. But even beyond that… there’s something else,” Rose glanced at Garnet, a sudden seriousness in her eyes and tone, “You have to promise me that you will never tell anyone this. I never even told Greg. I know he suspects but…”

Now Garnet was curious. Something that not even Greg knew? Rose shared secrets with all of the ones she considered close to her, each were aware of ones the others weren’t. But this sounded like something Rose had only pondered over in her most secret of thoughts. Garnet nodded once to assure Rose that she could trust her with whatever it was she had to tell her.

Rose sighed and slumped, “We, as Gems, are ageless. We don’t grow old or die unless we are shattered. Humans don’t have that luxury. Their lives are so... short, so… different. It makes our luxury seem like a sick joke. That’s one major difference between us. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I appreciate the culture, no matter how much I integrate with human beings, no matter how much I come to love humanity, I will never be a human being. Greg and I will never be the same species. I can never grow old with him or change with him or... live a normal life with him as a woman could.”

Garnet saw where this was going. It made her want to yell at Rose to stop it. To tell her that it didn’t matter. That Greg loved her anyway, despite the unavoidable contrast they had. That he didn’t want her to change. But Garnet may have been pushing a bit of herself onto Greg. She knew he loved Rose and most likely did not want her to change, but she couldn’t claim that it was a total fact. Besides, it was done. Rose’s fate was sealed. All they could do now was see what happened.

"I don’t want to watch Greg die,” Rose’s eyes suddenly had a determined look in them as she stared at Garnet, “I do want this child. I do want to be apart of someone different. But at the same time, I know that this reason is far more self serving than it should be. I can’t... live without Greg. I don’t want to see him go. If I go first… I won’t have to see Greg die.”

Garnet could say nothing in response. She knew that if Ruby or Sapphire had to watch the other shatter, the situation would be something similar. 

Rose smiled, “You understand, don’t you?”

Garnet understood better than anyone else ever would. After all, this feeling is what led to her own creation. Her very being. It was something she was very familiar with. All of a sudden she felt as if all of her questions finally had an answer. 

They both turned to look back up at the sparkling night sky as Rose softly whispered, “You see, Garnet, I have many reasons for why I chose this. But in the end, they all have the same source.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you think!


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